Written By: Garry CooperThe Nobel Peace Prize committee insisted that their decision to have President Barack Obama pay his own way to Sweden to accept the Peace Prize on December 10 had nothing to do with his decision to escalate the war in Afghanistan.
"We're just a little short of cash this year and are trying to cut some costs," said the Chairman of the Nobel Committee, "This has nothing to do with President Obama sending 30,000 soldiers to Afghanistan. After all, Alfred Nobel invented dynamite." Despite the Chairman's denial, rumors persisted that they were going to revoke the President's Peace Prize and reward it instead to Tiger Woods's wife for her work on domestic violence.
In the United States, criticism of the President's decision from the far right intensified, despite the fact that his war escalation reiterated the Bush doctrine of fighting wars to prevent possible dangers to America. "It's a sign of his weakness and temporizing that after months of delay he finally decided to send only 30,000 soldiers to Afghanistan," said Senator John McCain (R-AZ), "Why couldn't he have sent 30,500 and get the job done right? The way to win a war is to hit them and hit them hard. That's how we won the war in Iraq."
Former Vice President Cheney also criticized the President's decision. "He's doing almost exactly what I wanted and he didn't give me a damn bit of credit," he growled.
The President's one-time supporters, dismayed at the far right's influence on Obama's Afghanistan policy, called for a massive demonstration in front of Cheney's house. "We're going to have thousands of people stand outside his house with tuning forks to bring universal harmonic vibrations into his heart," said one of the rally's organizers, "With any luck, that will throw the bastard's pacemaker out of whack."
But it seemed unlikely the demonstration would actually take place. As soon as the former Vice President heard of the plans, there was a rumbling inside his house, the chimney belched smoke, and the plume turned into a giant Dick Cheney who roared loud enough to shake the foundations of the White House.
