Professor Douglas Emlen, world expert on the dung beetle, points out that male beetles who have the largest horns on top of their heads are the fiercest fighters. However, he says, the material and energy that go into growing larger horns has to come from somewhere else in their bodies, so that the beetles with the largest horns have smaller testes.
In other news, Yankee shortstop Alex Rodriguez returns to the lineup this week after recovering from a steroid-related injury.
The H1N1 virus was inducted today into the International Journalism Major Event That Quickly Fizzled into Insignificance Hall of Fame, joining the 1973-74 appearance of Comet Kahoutek. The World Health Organization (WHO) however warned that the H1N1 virus could still mutate into something more fatal and uncontrollable and become the major story of the decade.
“It is not like the Chicago Cubs, who are clearly not going to ever live up to expectations,” said WHO Director Margaret Chan.
Major media spokespersons for television and newspapers defended themselves against charges that declining revenues had influenced their decision to over-inflate the threat of the swine flu.
“Certainly it’s true that we don’t have the time, revenue or inclination to do any more investigative journalism,” they said, “Which makes stories like swine flu terrific candidates for saturation coverage. But this doesn’t at all mean that we have lost our verve and determination to take risks in our choices of what to cover. Just like terrorism, swine flu may still someday become a major threat, and if it does, we’ll look pretty darn smart then, won’t we?”
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